Stressed

Man oh man. The stress? I'm feeling it these days. We have two more weeks of school and LOTS to do in that short period of time. Also, we're now looking toward next year and it looks like it's going to be different. We will have a (much needed) new team leader, and she's looking to jumble us all around. My team this year may be a tad dysfunctional, but still, we look out for each other. None of us are happy about being moved without our consent/approval/whatnot. Just annoying. And I'm NOT a fan of change, so I currently am living in Anxiety City.

This is a three day weekend, but with so much left to do, I'm having trouble relaxing and enjoying it.

Oh, but I almost forgot. I teach third grade, as you know, and I like to attend some of my students' extracurricular events when I can. Last night, David had a ballroom dancing match. Yes, you read that correctly; my nine year old football-and-baseball-playing male student does BALLROOM DANCING. And boy, was it adorable. He and his little sister did the cha cha together, and then he did some dances with his instructor. It was the single cutest thing I have ever seen. You people with children: make your kids take ballroom dancing lessons. You will not be disappointed.

Okay, so this was a short, scattered post, but that's kind of how my mind is these days. Hopefully everything will settle down soon. In the meantime, I'm going to go read a book in a hot bath...sounds like the perfect antidote to a stressful few days!

Countdown

My first year as a teacher will conclude in three weeks. Three short weeks including a Monday off for Memorial Day, a Friday that I'll be in Minnesota for a friend's baby shower and a half day on the last day of school. I'm thrilled. And why shouldn't I be?

Well, sometimes I start panicking...have I prepared my students well enough? I will be the first to tell you that I did not have it all together like I wanted this year. Stations and guided reading were inconsistent. Writing could have been better. I could have done a few fun things in social studies that I never got to. All of my kids passed the state standardized reading test. They know their stuff, but I could have always done more.

I'm sure this is a "I'm a first-year teacher and I'm not so jaded yet" type of thing, but I'm already starting to miss my kids. Yes, they give me fits sometimes, but overall, they're awesome. How lucky am I that I got to be a big part of these little people's lives this year? I know their brothers, sisters, pets, hobbies, dreams, nightmares, favorite foods, best friends, and favorite colors. I have been very blessed to be able to know these little people and to help shape their lives. Come June 5th, they'll be gone and I won't be able to remind them to use an apostrophe if a word is possessive or how to politely ask for something they want. I'll have to trust that I have taught them and now they know.

I am a perfectionist and always think about how I could have done something better. I will always feel like I could have done more. I got to know and love forty third graders this year and I just pray that I have done right by my kids. I will try and enjoy these next few weeks because my kids don't get to be my kids for much longer.

My Boys

I teach third grade, and in my class I have eleven boys and eight girls. Some teachers can't stand boys - they're wild, gross, silly and inattentive. I have always loved working with little boys because they're wild, silly, gross, and excited about whatever they're doing. When I was younger, my favorite families to babysit for each had two boys.

I have mostly boys in my class, and while I won't say that they are not a handful, I love them. I have bossy boys, talkative boys, athletic boys, musical boys, silly boys, brash boys and wimpy boys. My boys don't always get along, but when they do, they make me proud. We've all worked hard to create harmony among my boys and that peace is a fragile thing.

I have one boy, David* who tends to be a bit of a bully. He is incredibly smart and sometimes uses that against others. He can be very funny and does have a promising desire to succeed. He is sometimes very mean to his fellow classmates, but he and I have bonded through a common love for animals. I get daily updates on how his dog is doing.

A few months go, we got an aquarium for our classroom. Our first two fish (Navvy and Gator) were named after out school mascot, the Navigator. David was thrilled. One week when he had had great behavior, he got to be our class ichthyologist. He loved feeding and caring for our fishy friends.

Last week I noticed that one of our fish's tail was faded and pale. I told our ichthyologist for the week to go observe him to see how he was doing. After hearing that one of the fish might be sick, David immediately dropped his backpack and ran to the back counter where our aquarium resides. On his way there, he said "What? I gotta check on them. Man, Navvy and Gator - they my boys!"

No, I can't say I'm proud of his brand of English there, but it was hilarious. At least SOMEONE is his "boy," even if it is a tiny fish.

Thwack!

This morning was a terrible morning. It was a no-good, awful, horrible start to my day. What was so tortuous, you may ask? Well, I'd be GLAD to tell you.

Set the scene. It's 1:00am. I'm sound asleep, dreaming, when I awaken to the sound of cats fighting. We have a cat that lives outside, and this happens from time to time, so I ignored it. The awful noise sounded a few more times followed by a long, groaning moan. Concerned, I rush downstairs and turn on the porch light to see two strange cats having some sort of showdown on the patio. They run off when I bang on the door so I go outside to check on Suzie the outside cat, who has survived unscathed. I stick around for a few minutes to make sure those rapscallions don't return, then retreat indoors to down some nyquil and go back to bed.

6:30am. Alarm, snooze. 6:45am. Alarm, snooze. 7:18. CRAP. Yes, I woke up at 7:18. And I normally leave for work at 7:15. I rush to get dressed, go to get a Diet Dr. Pepper to drink on my way to work (healthy, I know!) and I had forgotten to put them in the fridge the night before. Mmm, warm soda. This morning keeps getting better.

I hop in my car with my makeup in my bag, to be applied at my desk, and race to get to work before 7:40. See, we are supposed to be at work at 7:40. I'm normally there on time. I'm normally EARLY, but not today. Here's the kicker: I'm "teacher of the month" this month, so I have a fancy schmancy parking spot at the front of the school. In front of the office. Where my boss resides. So when I'm late, I get to walk by the front office on my way in. Not exactly "teacher of the month" behavior.

I ended up getting there at 7:42 so my walk of shame was only a tiny bit shameful, but I was still frazzled from my late start. I was grouchy at our third grade team meeting and crabby with my kids when they first came in. Grouch grouch. Whine whine. Crab crab. I did NOT want to be at school today.

About a half an hour into class, one of my friends that teaches first grade sent a student to "think it out" in my room. Apparently she had been throwing a fit in her classroom so she got to come reflect on that in my room. I let her sit there for a while, but before I let her go back to her class, I wanted to talk her through her thoughts. I asked her why it was that she needed to come think it out in my room:

"I just didn't want to be at school today."

Hmm, sound familiar? We talked about how much attitude affects our day and the days of those around us. Also about how sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. I gave her permission to go back to her class and she went on her way. I was left thinking about what I had learned from our conversation. I adjusted my attitude and had a better day.

Thank you universe for a big figurative thwack in the back of the head courtesy of a pouting little six year old girl.

So Sweet

Just a quick post... I'm having a hard time finding the energy/inspiration to post during the week! One of my students said the sweetest thing today, though, and I had to share.

Kayla* is one of my students. She has struggled with reading, so she has been in after-school tutoring, recess tutoring, specialized reading programs...the works. She's made a lot of progress this year, but I'm keeping her in these programs so we can see even more growth. She's a hard worker and a sweet girl.

Today, the kids' prompt for writing was, "Write about a time that someone was kind to you." (Our life principle of the week is kindness). I have the kids write, then I call on a few lucky ones to come sit in the author's chair and share with the class. Kayla got to share today. In her story, she was talking about another boy in the class, James*. He had been in tutoring with Kayla earlier in the year, but tested out a month or so ago.. Kayla said:

"James was my tutoring buddy. I still have friends in tutoring, but it's different now. When James was in tutoring, the room just popped! I miss having him there."

Seriously, nine year old? Did you just describe something as abstract as the emotion and aura a person brings to a setting?? I was amazed and my eyes filled with tears. It makes me so proud when my babies are supportive of each other. I love those darn kids.

*The names of my students have been changed to protect their identities.