Flying Solo

On Friday, I'll be taking my first all-by-myself plane trip. I am flying to Minneapolis to attend my childhood best friend's baby shower. I'm really excited, but a little anxious for the trip.

I've flown many times before- LA, Denver, Orlando, New York, Atlanta, Albuquerque, and many of these multiple times, but I've never taken a plane trip solo. I graduated and got my first teaching job this time last year. I've spent the year working and earning money for myself, but I really feel like this summer will cement my status in the adult world. This summer I am flying to Minnesota on my own, flying to Miami and going on a cruise by myself for work (I know, my life is hard!), and hopefully buying a house. YIKES responsibility alert!

(It's been my plan for a while to try and buy a house this summer, and we'll see how that goes. Now that I'm more in tune with financial realities, I'm unsure of what kind of loan I'll be able to get, but keep your fingers and toes crossed for me).

Buying a house is a BIG deal, but really I'm feeling more anxious about going on these trips on my own. I have the world's WORST sense of direction and I'm nervous about finding my way in the airports and such. Also, I get car/airsick, so I don't know how I'll do on a boat. The bad part will be- who will take care of me if I do get sick? No mom, no friends, no boyfriend to take care of me in case I need them. I'll have to rely on myself and the kindness of strangers. AHHH!! LACK OF CONTROL!! Scary stuff.

This will be a big and busy summer for me. I'm taking my first (or maybe second or third but it's a significant one nonetheless) step toward adulthood independence with my trip to Minnesota this coming weekend. If I don't get lost or end up on the wrong flight, it'll be I can practically do Anything! Look out world! And also, look out person-who-has-to-sit-next-to-me-on-the-plane. I might just be having an anxiety attack.

Stressed

Man oh man. The stress? I'm feeling it these days. We have two more weeks of school and LOTS to do in that short period of time. Also, we're now looking toward next year and it looks like it's going to be different. We will have a (much needed) new team leader, and she's looking to jumble us all around. My team this year may be a tad dysfunctional, but still, we look out for each other. None of us are happy about being moved without our consent/approval/whatnot. Just annoying. And I'm NOT a fan of change, so I currently am living in Anxiety City.

This is a three day weekend, but with so much left to do, I'm having trouble relaxing and enjoying it.

Oh, but I almost forgot. I teach third grade, as you know, and I like to attend some of my students' extracurricular events when I can. Last night, David had a ballroom dancing match. Yes, you read that correctly; my nine year old football-and-baseball-playing male student does BALLROOM DANCING. And boy, was it adorable. He and his little sister did the cha cha together, and then he did some dances with his instructor. It was the single cutest thing I have ever seen. You people with children: make your kids take ballroom dancing lessons. You will not be disappointed.

Okay, so this was a short, scattered post, but that's kind of how my mind is these days. Hopefully everything will settle down soon. In the meantime, I'm going to go read a book in a hot bath...sounds like the perfect antidote to a stressful few days!

Countdown

My first year as a teacher will conclude in three weeks. Three short weeks including a Monday off for Memorial Day, a Friday that I'll be in Minnesota for a friend's baby shower and a half day on the last day of school. I'm thrilled. And why shouldn't I be?

Well, sometimes I start panicking...have I prepared my students well enough? I will be the first to tell you that I did not have it all together like I wanted this year. Stations and guided reading were inconsistent. Writing could have been better. I could have done a few fun things in social studies that I never got to. All of my kids passed the state standardized reading test. They know their stuff, but I could have always done more.

I'm sure this is a "I'm a first-year teacher and I'm not so jaded yet" type of thing, but I'm already starting to miss my kids. Yes, they give me fits sometimes, but overall, they're awesome. How lucky am I that I got to be a big part of these little people's lives this year? I know their brothers, sisters, pets, hobbies, dreams, nightmares, favorite foods, best friends, and favorite colors. I have been very blessed to be able to know these little people and to help shape their lives. Come June 5th, they'll be gone and I won't be able to remind them to use an apostrophe if a word is possessive or how to politely ask for something they want. I'll have to trust that I have taught them and now they know.

I am a perfectionist and always think about how I could have done something better. I will always feel like I could have done more. I got to know and love forty third graders this year and I just pray that I have done right by my kids. I will try and enjoy these next few weeks because my kids don't get to be my kids for much longer.

Walk

I've written before about Mike and Heather's beautiful Maddie, who passed away unexpectedly a little over a month ago. Maddie was just 17 months old and was lost far too soon.

After her passing, teams for the upcoming March of Dimes March for Babies walks came up all over the country in honor of Maddie. Houston had a team organized by Greis. I quickly signed up, only to later discover that I had a prior commitment that I could not get out of - I was not going to be able to walk with the Houston Maddie Team.

I had already raised some money for the March of Dimes thanks to generous donations from friends, so I was determined to meet my goal. I may not have been able to March for Maddie downtown, but I wanted to support the March of Dimes. I decided I would go on my own walk in honor of Maddie.

That Sunday afternoon, after Greis, Natalie and the rest of the Houston team had finished their walk downtown, I set out on a three mile walk at my local park.



During my walk, I thought about and prayed for the Spohrs. I reflected on what I had learned from Heather, Mike and Maddie... I want to live each day fully, like Maddie did. During my walk, I saw many things that reminded me of the beautiful girl with the bright eyes. Purple, the March of Dimes color, and the color chosen by the Spohrs to honor Maddie, popped up in unexpected places.


(forgive the awful quality- it was taken with my iPhone)

I also spotted a rock in the shape of a heart, that reminded my reason for doing all of this: Heather and Mike's love for their girl, my love for Maddie and the Spohrs, and Maddie's love for life.





Man, it was hot in Houston that Sunday, but it meant a lot to me to walk to remember and honor Maddie. I had a good reason to get this hot and sweaty!



I'm a few weeks late posting this, but the sentiments remain the same. My heart aches for Heather and Mike's loss. My heart smiles with the memories of the little girl with the bright eyes.



Remembering Maddie. xoxo

Miss you!

Oh, blog. I haven't had you very long, but alas, I am already neglecting you.

I will be writing more soon. It was on my to-do list today, but I didn't get to-do it. I was too busy writing lesson plans, shopping and catching up with some friends. BUT, on the bright side, this is my birthday week! My birthday is on Wednesday and it will be the first birthday of my life that I have to work. Fortunately, my "co-workers" are cute 9 year olds that are more excited about my birthday than I am!

I need to blog about my Walk for Maddie. About the discovery of new good friends at work. About the cool cactus in my yard (seriously). And soon, about life as a 23 year old.

Stay tuned, internet.

My Boys

I teach third grade, and in my class I have eleven boys and eight girls. Some teachers can't stand boys - they're wild, gross, silly and inattentive. I have always loved working with little boys because they're wild, silly, gross, and excited about whatever they're doing. When I was younger, my favorite families to babysit for each had two boys.

I have mostly boys in my class, and while I won't say that they are not a handful, I love them. I have bossy boys, talkative boys, athletic boys, musical boys, silly boys, brash boys and wimpy boys. My boys don't always get along, but when they do, they make me proud. We've all worked hard to create harmony among my boys and that peace is a fragile thing.

I have one boy, David* who tends to be a bit of a bully. He is incredibly smart and sometimes uses that against others. He can be very funny and does have a promising desire to succeed. He is sometimes very mean to his fellow classmates, but he and I have bonded through a common love for animals. I get daily updates on how his dog is doing.

A few months go, we got an aquarium for our classroom. Our first two fish (Navvy and Gator) were named after out school mascot, the Navigator. David was thrilled. One week when he had had great behavior, he got to be our class ichthyologist. He loved feeding and caring for our fishy friends.

Last week I noticed that one of our fish's tail was faded and pale. I told our ichthyologist for the week to go observe him to see how he was doing. After hearing that one of the fish might be sick, David immediately dropped his backpack and ran to the back counter where our aquarium resides. On his way there, he said "What? I gotta check on them. Man, Navvy and Gator - they my boys!"

No, I can't say I'm proud of his brand of English there, but it was hilarious. At least SOMEONE is his "boy," even if it is a tiny fish.

Thwack!

This morning was a terrible morning. It was a no-good, awful, horrible start to my day. What was so tortuous, you may ask? Well, I'd be GLAD to tell you.

Set the scene. It's 1:00am. I'm sound asleep, dreaming, when I awaken to the sound of cats fighting. We have a cat that lives outside, and this happens from time to time, so I ignored it. The awful noise sounded a few more times followed by a long, groaning moan. Concerned, I rush downstairs and turn on the porch light to see two strange cats having some sort of showdown on the patio. They run off when I bang on the door so I go outside to check on Suzie the outside cat, who has survived unscathed. I stick around for a few minutes to make sure those rapscallions don't return, then retreat indoors to down some nyquil and go back to bed.

6:30am. Alarm, snooze. 6:45am. Alarm, snooze. 7:18. CRAP. Yes, I woke up at 7:18. And I normally leave for work at 7:15. I rush to get dressed, go to get a Diet Dr. Pepper to drink on my way to work (healthy, I know!) and I had forgotten to put them in the fridge the night before. Mmm, warm soda. This morning keeps getting better.

I hop in my car with my makeup in my bag, to be applied at my desk, and race to get to work before 7:40. See, we are supposed to be at work at 7:40. I'm normally there on time. I'm normally EARLY, but not today. Here's the kicker: I'm "teacher of the month" this month, so I have a fancy schmancy parking spot at the front of the school. In front of the office. Where my boss resides. So when I'm late, I get to walk by the front office on my way in. Not exactly "teacher of the month" behavior.

I ended up getting there at 7:42 so my walk of shame was only a tiny bit shameful, but I was still frazzled from my late start. I was grouchy at our third grade team meeting and crabby with my kids when they first came in. Grouch grouch. Whine whine. Crab crab. I did NOT want to be at school today.

About a half an hour into class, one of my friends that teaches first grade sent a student to "think it out" in my room. Apparently she had been throwing a fit in her classroom so she got to come reflect on that in my room. I let her sit there for a while, but before I let her go back to her class, I wanted to talk her through her thoughts. I asked her why it was that she needed to come think it out in my room:

"I just didn't want to be at school today."

Hmm, sound familiar? We talked about how much attitude affects our day and the days of those around us. Also about how sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. I gave her permission to go back to her class and she went on her way. I was left thinking about what I had learned from our conversation. I adjusted my attitude and had a better day.

Thank you universe for a big figurative thwack in the back of the head courtesy of a pouting little six year old girl.